Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Fabulous Valentine's Challenge -- Day 2

Linking up again for the Fabulous Valentine's Challenge. You can link up here!

Valentine’s Day Challenge

Today's Topic -- Worst Date Ever

My worst date ever really isn't considered a date. I can't really think of a bad date that sticks out over the course of my relationship with M. There was a period of 5 days however, that were the worst 5 days for me in our dating history. 

Settle in for this long nightmare.

A brief history. In June 2007, after being friends with M for almost a year and a month before I started having "more than friends" feelings, M attended a wedding back home with a date. I thought nothing of this at the time because we were only friends and I had no feelings for him. He comes back from the wedding and makes the comment "I'm in love with that girl, I'm going to marry her someday". At the time, no harm. But its things like this that a guy will say and it will stick in your mind -- 5 years later!

In November 2007, after now having "more than friends" feelings for M for about 4 months, I finally confront his close friend and roommate about my feelings. You know, like in middle school? His friend gets back to me with some crushing information. M thought I was a really cool person but there's a girl back home that he likes. Back home was Ohio, but the girl was now living in Memphis, which was across the country from where we were living - California. 

Although I wasn't happy, I wasn't surprised. This was back during the Myspace days and I had noticed a girl that was always leaving comments for M on Myspace. The types of things you say to a guy when you like him or are dating. At that time, her Myspace wasn't private and I noticed M was leaving her the same types of comments. Quotes from love songs, you get the idea. 

December 2007 rolls around and both M and I go back home for Christmas. This was also during the ancient times of AOL instant messenger. At this point, after some snooping research, I had this girl's AOL screen name. While home, putting two and two together, I see that the two of them are hanging out a lot over Christmas. This sucks for me because I like M. At the same time, M is beginning to talk to me a lot more which is leaving me confused. 

January 2008 rolls around and M and I start dating. I have what I can remember as the best week of my life. I am beyond happy and giddy and so in love. This all comes to a halt when the inappropriate Myspace messages return. Things about her moving out to California, her using his full name -- which I've never heard anyone call him -- and extending it out in a flirty tone if you know what I mean, her asking him to "entertain" him because she was bored, lyrics from their favorite love songs, etc etc. All inappropriate things for a "friend" to be saying to a guy who HELLO - has a girlfriend. Not to mention I knew he was talking to her on instant messenger every night, texting and talking to her, talking about her and e-mailing. It was a gut feeling, a girl just knows. I was feeling really insecure in our relationship.

It takes me a few months but I finally confront M about all of this. He thought I was crazy overreacting, said I had nothing to worry about, said she was only a friend, etc. 

Well, this all continued for about a year and a half. Yay.

It was now spring of 2009 and I see her leave M a comment about coming to visit. You know the moments when your stomach sinks and your chest gets really tight and the room starts spinning? Well, this was one of those moments. Again, I confronted M about it appalled that he hadn't come to me. It was confirmed that she would be coming in July. To stay with him. Excuse me? Again, the pit in stomach, heavy chest, spinning room and there might have been some crying. What normal guy who has a girlfriend allows another girl who has a thing for him, another girl who he had once made clear that he loved and was going to marry someday, another girl who clearly liked him more than just a friend -- what normal guy would let a girl like this come stay with him while he has a girlfriend? Was I just crazy? My mom didn't think so. My best friends didn't think so. I don't know. 

At the time, we lived a few short blocks down the beach from one another. I made it clear that I would be staying with him the entire time she was in town. He agreed without an argument. He didn't see this visit as a big deal. It wasn't until a few days before she came and a bizillion arguments had that summer that he realized what he was doing was wrong and felt bad. Too late buddy. 

It was the most excruciating five days that I can remember, other than the time I went though my grandpa's death. It was uncomfortable and awkward, I hated every second, but I made myself present the whole time. Its not that I didn't trust M, I didn't trust her. I had the gut feeling I knew what she was there for and I wasn't going to let her get it. I didn't like the inappropriate comments from her I endured over the past year and a half, I didn't like the idea of her. 

To make things worse, she was a complete bee-otch to me from the start. I was nice even though I hated her. I greeted her when she first got in the car from the airport and she rolled her eyes at me. Great first impression. I felt like she was annoyed that I was around the entire time. There should be no reason she should be annoyed that M's girlfriend was around unless she didn't want his girlfriend around. A "friend" shouldn't be annoyed that her friend's girlfriend is hanging out. 

Funny thing is, after the trip she stopped logging into Myspace. Unless she was secretly e-mailing M, I saw no contact between the two of them. It wasn't until last April that she popped back into our my life. She contacted M on Facebook, again with the flirty use of his extended name, extending the letters, and told him to check his e-mail. 

I don't know how much contact they do have anymore if any, and I am not one of those girls to tell M that he can't have friends who are girls. I do know now she has a boyfriend and think its ironic that she doesn't talk to M anymore. For two people who were such good "friends", its weird. 

For our entire first two years together I had nightmares about this girl and she still pops into my dreams every now and then.

So there you have it, I think the worst 5 days trumps any bad date that M and I may have had or ever will have!

You can read about my best date at Fabulous Valentine's Day Challenege - Day 1.


Page Twenty-Two said...

Ugh - I hear ya on this one! Nothing worse than a "friend" who doesn't know that they are crossing the line with your man. I have experienced similar issues and I know that EXACT feeling you get in your stomach when you read those online messages. Good for you for being strong through all of it!!

Kerri said...

Ahhh yes, worst dating stories. I've had a couple of those. My worst first date was when a guy practically proposed on the first non-group type of date we had had. It was awful. haha!

Emily said...

There is nothing worse than the girl who knows she's crossing the line & doesn't care.

Malo said...

I've come across that kind of girl too... horrible!

Mandy said...

I've come in contact with a few of those types of females. Terrible.
Found you through the V-Day linkup and I'm following you.

Casey said...

I'm with Emily - nothing worse than that kind of girl.

Thanks for linking up to the Valentine's Challenge with us!

Aimee L said...

Wow, girl...that's a crazy story!

You're obviously pretty strong and secure about yourself & your relationship, which is probably why your boyfriend keeps you around :)

Good for you, seriously!!

Cori H. said...

Oh gosh! I'm sorry you've had to deal with this girl. So not cool!

Hollie Ann said...

oh hell no!!! yeah NOT okay. at all. i hope she's gone!

Miss Caitlin S. said...

omg, kick her to the curb, how annoying!

Kara said...

Highlighted your post on my Lots of Link Love post! :)